New Single Is blog entry: Lessons From A Child

Please support Single Is. An awesome organization dedicated to empowering and inspiring women. 

Check out my new guest blog entry for Single Is at: Lessons From A Child by @delesaj http://ht.ly/5B2wP

News! I'm the new Director of Operations!

In case you didn't know, I am now the Director of Operations for the Southern California Black Chamber of Commerce. I'm excited to be a part of the team and I am looking forward to this new opportunity. 


With that said, I am always looking for Businesses to feature in our monthly newsletters. Email me for an appointment. I would love to come to your venue, office, or location to do a review with my photographer. Let's support each other and grow small businesses! 


"Find what you love and sacrifice for it."-Delesa J


Thanking God for all my blessings <3,


~Delesa J 

Check out our new Feature!

Check out my new feature on Single Is: http://singleis.com/blogpost/one-woman-spotlight-jasmine/ thank you to #SingleIs and @ShontayeH for the feature!

We are excited to publish our first article for Single Is, stay tuned for details!

~Delesa J

Faith Will Get You Through

Hey guys here is a quick free write that I did one day. There has been a lot going on in my life recently; both good and bad. I feel like I am being pushed to my full potential only to breakthrough into a stronger, wiser person. 

The journey has been hard and I am nowhere near the end (although, I'm closer today then I was yesterday) but I wouldn't change it for anything. So please take from it what you need and/or pass it along to someone who may need it. 

Faith is what keeps me going; faith is that little flickering light at the end of the tunnel, faith is that tiny mustard seed, faith is seeing someone worst off than you, faith is hope, faith is...

So when in doubt, despair, pain or whatever the case may be just remember Faith will get you through.

Faith Will Get You Through

We often do things on our own and seek God’s help after we have failed. Then we have the nerve to question why he did not save us or how could he let us struggle?

Here is a wake up call: He does not operate like that. The problem is you.

You have to remain faithful to the Lord and pray everyday. Pray before and during a crisis not just after.

The most important lesson you can learn is that prayer works and faith will get you through the darkest hours. However, you have to make God your plan A instead of your plan B. He cannot be placed on standby.

Challenge yourself this week: increase your faith and mediation time. Then watch miraculous things take place right before your eyes.

Remember; when in doubt always remember that faith will get through. 

²⁰ He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

Matthew 17:20

New International Version (NIV)

Passage taken from: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+17%3A20&version=NIV

~Delesa J

Question to ponder: What is Faith to you? Please feel free to share. 

Look at me Now!

Hello all! A lot has been going on recently and I feel so blessed and favored. I recently became a writer for Feva La Bella Magazine and one of my articles was recently published in the June edition of FEVA!!

According to Fevalabella.com: 

The mission of “FEVA” LA BELLA MAGAZINE IS TO GIVE HOPE TO THE LEAST, THE LOST, AND THE LEFT OUT!

“FEVA” LA BELLA MAGAZINE seeks to provide insight into issues that affect and impact women of color, to inspire women to achieve, to educate women in both practical and intellectual subjects, and to create a supportive and nurturing community.

I am so excited to begin this new relationship and to write articles that will inspire and motivate other women and women of color. Everyone knows, I'm a feminist at heart ;). So once again I am blessed to be combining my passion of helping others with my passion for writing. Who could ask for a better job? 

So cheers to my new journey! I look forward to continuing my work with FEVA as well as building new relationships with other magazines and newspapers. So let the writing begin!

Note: In order to view my article (page 56) (and other upcoming articles) you must purchase the magazine, either in print or digital. Here's a link if you are interested in purchasing: @FEVALABELLA officially welcomes @delesaj in June with “Recession with a Lemon Twist” http://www.magcloud.com/browse/issue/200221 “FEVA”!!

Thank you all for your continued support. 

"So remember when life gives you lemons, do not just make lemonade, plant your own grove of lemon trees."-Delesa J (quote from my June FEVA article)

~Delesa J 

We Made Front Page!

Check out Delesa J and Delesa J Writing Services on the front page of The Rialto Record Weekly!!!
So thankful and humbled right now. Get use to seeing our name in the media, cause we just got our second wind! Turning up the heat.

Check out the article here: http://rialtorecord.com/current-edition/

"It takes 20 years to build a reputation and 5 minutes to ruin it. If you think about that you'll do things differently."-Warren Buffett

~Delesa J

How to do it Yourself: Resume Writing and Business Workshops, act now!

Have you ever wanted to learn how to write your own resume? Delesa J Writing Services is giving workshops that will teach you hands on skills and prepare you to write that eye catching resume and to put you on the right track for starting your own business. Sign up today to lock in the $25 cost!!!

Check out my new splash page!

http://about.me/DelesaJ

Resume Writing Tips by Resume.Com

During this tough economic time it is important to have a strong resume. Whether you hire a professional or do it yourself; your resume should stand out and make a bold statement. See the tips below on how to write a strong resume. Get ready, set, write!

Resume Writing Tips

Resume.com | Resume Tips

10 Resume Writing Tips

Keep in mind when writing your resume the importance of using PAR statements.
PAR stands for Problem-Action-Results, in other words, first you state the problem that existed in your workplace, then you describe what you did about it, and finally you point out the beneficial results. Essentially, you use action verbs to portray your accomplishments and briefly describe the results.

1. Your resume must be presentable; that means it has to be neat and error free. No room for typos or grammatical errors. Always have someone proofread your resume for errors and clarity.
2. Presentation is important. Format your resume so that the employer can peruse it quickly and identify your strengths. This is the opportunity to make a first impression.
3. Use specific key words and buzzwords in your resume. Keywords are related to your job skills, experience, and qualifications. Buzzwords are words related to the industry you are applying in or employer’s business type. Do not abbreviate words.
4. Remember to use action verbs to portray yourself, such as active, accomplished, contributed, transformed, improved, etc. Managers and supervisors can use a different set of action verbs, such as Managed, Supervised, Directed, etc.
5. Avoid Personal Pronouns such as “I” or “me.” If you use them in your first draft, remember to remove them in the final resume document. For example if you write “I helped with the creation of a recruitment program…” You can say “Created a recruitment program that…” or “Contributed to the creation of a recruitment program…”
6. Be specific and to the point. Highlight accomplishments and key points. Accomplishments can be listed; key points can be highlighted in bold or italics text. Bullets are key to minimizing text.
7. Your objective should read clearly throughout your resume. Emphasis should be placed on skills and strengths. Personal traits (hard worker, responsible, self-motivated, organized, etc) may be important depending on the job you are applying for. Your personal traits will show in the resume and the interview.
8. List only recent information. The general rule of thumb is to show your work experience by most recent experience first; and keep it relative to the position you are applying to. Avoid experiences that go back many years and are irrelevant. Keep it concise, well organized, be honest and keep it positive. Remember your resume is a reflection of you.
9. Avoid vocabulary, or words, that do not reflect who you are. The person reading your resume will not be impressed. Keep it simple and use words we all understand. Having someone else, say, a Resume Writing Service, write your resumes may not reflect who “you” are.
10. Use clearly identified section headings. Section headings are your Objective, Employment Experience / History, Skills, Summary, Summary of Qualifications, Education, Professional Affiliations, Publications, Licenses and Certifications, Honors, and References (if requested). Accomplishments and Strengths should be reflected in the body of your résumé.

Note: Never write in your resume or cover letter, that you are interested in the position because you want to “grow” or “advance” your career with them. You do not want to make the company feel like you are using them to grow your career; they will not risk having you move on to another company with what they have taught you. When a company hires you and they train you, they are making an investment. Companies are not in the business of teaching their employees so they can move on to other companies – hence advancing their employees’ careers.

You want the position to establish a long lasting relationship with the company so you can contribute your past experience and knowledge, and at the same time grow with the company. Mention that you want to utilize your past experience but at the same time, enhance you knowledge to the benefit of the company.

Resume Tips

A resume is the tool that, if written correctly and presented accurately, will help you land a job. It outlines your experiences, accomplishments, qualifications and skills. If formatted properly, an employer should be able to see immediately if you have the right qualifications and skill set he or she is looking for and whether you can contribute to the company. If you cannot communicate that in your resume within the first 30 seconds, almost by glance, then you have most likely failed the first round. Your resume will end up in the rejection pile and filed away.

To be effective keep your resume clear and focused. Highlight previous employers, city and Job Titles. Your previous employers’ job description / duties should focus around the requirements, as much as possible, of the position you are applying for. Mention accomplishments. Use key words. You should know as much as possible of the duties and skills of the job you are applying for.

Before you begin to write your resume, write down in chronological order (with the most recent position listed first) your past jobs, dates of employment and responsibilities or duties. Include only the most relevant duties and responsibilities, in addition to accomplishments, applicable to the position you are applying for. Again, the more you know about the employer and position, the better you can organize your resume. Avoid superfluous information (things that are not relevant).
You will note that the more experience you have, the easier it will be to write your resume. High School or college graduates will have a difficult time organizing a resume, for lack of work experience. In this case coursework, part-time jobs, summer internships, and volunteer work can be just as impressive. Good luck!

"You’ve got to say, I think that if I keep working at this and want it badly enough I can have it. It’s called perseverance." – Lee Iacocca

~Delesa J 

Are You a Writer? by Dr. Wayne Dyer

I loved this blog by Dr. Wayne Dyer. If you know who Dr. Dyer is then you know no further introduction is needed. If you don't know who he is please visit: http://www.drwaynedyer.com.

Author: Dr. Wayne Dyer
Source: http://www.drwaynedyer.com/blog/are-you-a-writer

Are You a Writer?

3/2/11 at 11:00 am | by DR. WAYNE W. DYER

People ask me about writing all the time. How does it work? How can they get their message out to the world? On the recent Hay House I Can Do It cruise, I spoke to the Writer’s Workshop which was one of the programs given on the ship. What a great group of eager, empowered, and energetic people! I told them that it all hinges on what Abraham Maslow taught me many years ago when I was a young doctoral student. He told me to put forth what I wanted, my work, my message, and then detach from the outcome. This is true for any life work because the work itself must be what is satisfying and fulfilling for you. Writing is challenging work because it’s so easy to get consumed with how it’s going, what’s going to happen to it, who’s going to like or not like it. You want to get all of that stuff out of your head and just let the work flow. If you incarnated to be a writer, if that is your passionate calling, then you’ll be getting messages from Source, from Spirit, leading you in that direction.

If you are thinking these thoughts and being guided to write, remember that you incarnated to be a writer, not necessarily an editor. Your first job is to write and not to apply a critical eye to your work without first letting it pour forth. Writing is like anything else—the more you do it, the better you get at it, the easier it comes and the less concerned you’ll be about what’s going to happen to it, where it’s going, what it sounds like, whether it’s right. After my four decades of writing, I have a practice that works beautifully for me. I just let the ideas flow through my heart. I don’t write with a machine. I write with a pen and a paper which is what is most comfortable for me. I just let it flow, and I have a wonderful editor who’s been with me for 32 years. I let her take care of all the details.

To get started, forget the details and let your ideas come out on paper. Get your passion on the paper. Let the passion that you feel come through. You won’t be able to stop and it will be the best writing you ever did. Detach from the outcome. Forget about whether it’s going to get published, whether it’s good or not good, whether it’s the right thing. There is no right in this. Let it come; be an instrument of flow. It’s the practice that makes it work out. If you told me you had a lousy backhand in tennis, wouldn’t I tell you to go out and hit 1000 backhand shots this week? Keep doing what you love to the best of your ability. Stop judging and get out of your own way.  I always tell audiences when I talk about writing: Writing isn’t something I do, writing is something that I am. I am writing—it’s just an expression of me. Is that how it is for you?

"Words are the most powerful drug used by mankind." - Rudyard Kipling

~Delesa J

10 Commandments for the Writer in You!

Hey Sonny Essence Readers,

I know it has been such a long time since my last post (May 12 to be exact) but God has been so good to me. I've been putting in hard work and reaping the benefits from planting my seeds. Delesa J Writing Services has recently took on more clients and is flourishing right before my eyes. Soon we will be expanding and bringing on more staff, so I'm very humbled and excited for that blessing. I can continue on all day about my recent blessings (including graduating from CSUSB and being awarded third place in the It's Your Time Program by IEWBC) but I will get to the post at hand, yayyy!

I was sent a very informative article from Writer's Digest that I felt I need to share with you all. Now even though the article is titled The 10 Commandments of Fiction Writing, I felt the rules can be applied to any writer, entrepreneur, poet, or business owner. So please enjoy it as much as I did and really take the rules to heart. They definitely ring true, I can attest to that.

Written: August 10, 2010
Author: Raymond Obstfeld
For: Writer's Digest

1. Take yourself seriously
This is the most crucial commandment—and the most difficult to follow. Many beginning writers feel guilty about working so hard at something for which they haven't been paid a cent. Immediate family members or friends may look on writing as a harmless little hobby, to be encouraged only when it doesn't interfere with their own lives. Because of the cavalier attitude of others, writers may fail to prioritize writing as a necessary part of their lives, regardless of whether or not money exchanges hands.

You must emphatically demonstrate to yourself and to others that writing is a part of who you are, not just an amusing pastime. The measure of being a writer is not how much money you make, but how important writing is in your life.

2. Act like a professional
To be taken seriously as a writer, you must act like a professional writer. That means whenever you deal with other professionals in the writing business, such as agents, editors and publishers, you should act the same as you would for a job interview, and present a professional appearance. This is especially important in cover letters and manuscript preparation.

First, proofread for grammar, punctuation and spelling errors. I have heard many editors admit they sometimes reject a manuscript within the first few pages solely due to the number of grammar, punctuation and spelling mistakes. After months or even years of hard work perfecting your story, novel or screenplay, it would be a shame to have it rejected just because you didn't bother to check your spelling or fix a sentence fragment. And don't rely solely on spell-checking and grammar-checking computer programs—they make errors all the time. If grammar is your weakness, then find someone, either a friend or professional, who can proof the pages for you.

Second, perfect the format. The place to be creative is in your writing style, not the manuscript format. Avoid fancy fonts. They're distracting and hard to read. Stick to standard margins. Narrow margins crowd the page and slow the story's pace; broad margins make it appear as though you don't have a substantial story. Don't design your own cover. It smacks of desperation.

Third, polish the cover letter. Just tell the editors what they need to know. That includes: (a) a brief summary of the work, one to three paragraphs, and (b) anything about yourself that might be relevant to the work (if you're submitting a police procedural novel and you're a journalist who worked the crime beat, that's relevant). Avoid overhyping yourself or the work by making extravagant claims: "This will earn millions of dollars!" or "The world has never seen a novel like this before!" Hyperbole makes agents and editors less eager to work with you.

3. Write your passion
Some beginning writers try to write for whatever trend is popular. But by the time you finish your manuscript, get an agent and send your work to a publisher, the trend will be on its way out. You're more likely to produce publishable material by writing what you're passionate about. If you love romances, then write one. If you love mysteries, then that's the genre for you. You don't have to write only that genre, but as you first start out, if you write what you know, you'll have a stronger feel for the proper conventions to include as well as the cliches and stereotypes to avoid.

Ultimately, all that matters is that you care about the material and convey that passion to the reader.

4. Love the process
If you want to become a professional fiction writer, you'd better love the writing process. That doesn't mean you don't have doubts, fears and an aversion to your computer. It means that despite those hesitations, you still sit down and write. Even after you've sold your novel, finished your book-signing tour and watched Brad Pitt star in the film version, you still have to spend most of your days at a computer. That process must thrill and delight you, since all the rest of the celebrity trappings are only a small part of what you do.

5. Read—a lot
While it's a very good idea to know your genre, the best writers don't limit their reading to that genre. Artists need to experience other artists' work, which can teach and inspire as well.

When I read a fascinating novel or watch an insightful movie, I can't wait to get back to my own writing and make it better. This also works when I read a boring novel or watch a cliched movie; then I can't wait to make sure I haven't made similar mistakes in my work.

 Earth Angel.

6. Stick to a schedule
The main difference between successful writers and wannabe writers is not talent—it's perseverance. They finish what they start. Create a writing schedule that works for you and stick with it. Two types of scheduling work best for most writers.

1. The Gridlock Method. Fill out a weekly grid with all your responsibilities that cannot be changed—work, school, family, etc. Find two-hour blocks on at least three days of the week that you can claim for writing. Announce to your family and friends that those are your writing hours, and you are not to be disturbed during that time except for emergencies. (Be sure to define "emergencies.")

2. The Spare-Change Method. This method is for those whose schedules are less predictable. On a calendar, write the number of pages you intend to complete per day. Regardless of how busy you are that day, commit to staying up until that number of pages is complete.

Whichever method you use, the result will be the same: You will end up with a completed manuscript.

7. Be critical of your work
Writers live with the hope that someday they will read what they've written and not want to tear it up. The bad news is that the better you become as a writer, the more critical you are of your writing. The more you know about writing, the less you can tolerate bad writing (your own or others'). The good news is this critical ability will make you better. You will learn to reject the predictable and strive for invigorating style, plotting and characterization. Stop worrying that you'll never be a good enough writer, and embrace the inner critic.

8. Develop thick skin
As a beginning writer I dreamed of the day when I would never have to face another rejection. Forty published books and 12 sold screenplays later, not a day goes by when something I've written or proposed to be written isn't rejected by someone. Usually some publisher or producer buys what I've written, but not always. I still have a few unsold novels stashed in my garage, rejected stories and poems in my filing cabinet, script treatments on my desk.

Rejection still stings. But it doesn't hurt as long as it used to because I have so many projects to pursue. I no longer mope around and curse the short-sightedness of a universe that fails to recognize my genius. I just work on the next project. And if the same manuscript keeps getting rejected for the same reason, I re-evaluate the work and maybe rewrite it.

9. Trust your editors
First, I'm going to broadly define editors as not only professional editors at publishing houses but also writing teachers and writing workshop members who read and offer editorial suggestions. Most editors aren't frustrated writers—some are accomplished writers publishing more than you. In general, they have your best interests at heart. That doesn't mean you won't have disagreements with their suggestions. You most certainly will. You may even be right sometimes. But you will miss out on some very helpful suggestions if you refuse to listen.

The goal of most editors is to help you best realize the story you want to write. Because they come at it with fresh perspectives, they may be able to see flaws that you can't because you're too close to the work.

My typical first reaction to editorial suggestions is this: "What an idiot! You understand nothing of what I'm trying to say." An hour later I think, "Maybe that's not a completely stupid idea." After I incorporate the idea I think, "I'm a genius to have thought of this change." Point is, I have learned to carefully consider each suggestion. Sometimes I reject them, but many times those suggestions have significantly improved my work.

10. There are no certainties
William Goldman said it about Hollywood in his excellent primer for screenwriters, Adventures in the Screen Trade (Warner Books), but it applies equally to all writing. No one knows for sure what's going to sell and what isn't. If an agent from a big agency or an editor from a major publisher rejects your book saying that no one's interested in that type of story anymore, that doesn't necessarily mean anything. Think of all the "knowledgeable" studio execs who rejected Star Wars or big-shot editors who turned down The Godfather.

You must develop your own instincts about writing and have faith in them even when no one else does. That doesn't mean you will be inflexible to suggestions, it just means you will feel confident in whatever decisions you make.

"Don't be afraid of your talents and skills"-Delesa J

"We write to taste life twice"-Anais Nin

~Delesa J

Do you own your "BOS"?

Hey Sonny Essence Beauties,

Something touched my heart and mind a few moments ago. While searching for some poems to revise and submit for my final Poetic due in my English class, I came across a poem I had written for a class invention (a homework assignment where we were assigned a topic to write on). Basically I had to imagine I was a muse and I had to call on myself, according to http://dictionary.reference.com/ a muse is 1. one of nine Greek goddesses of the arts 2. the inspiration motivating a poet, artist, etc. So I took this writing assignment as a challenge and I called on my muse. I found her opposite of what I see myself to be, somewhat as a mirror image. She is feisty, she is assertive, she's strong, beautiful, outspoken, and so much more but most of all she was ME. Something and someone that no one else gave to me or taught me but rather revealed to me by me. She was my BOS: a beautiful and strong Sonny Essence Beauty that possessed the undefinable, sophisticated and multifaceted mindset of the Brilliance of Success (BOS).
I hope you enjoy the poem and take something useful away from it that you can apply to your life in some form. I hope it makes you think and rejoice as it made me while writing it.

From my heart to yours:

The Presence of You

I feel you

you follow me wherever I go

Like a shadow cast upon a wall

you catch me before I fall

You’re the strength that perseveres over my weaknesses

You take control when doubt tries to take me asunder

My fear is overcome by your resilience

You break through all barriers to make me a stronger woman

You’re what I strive to be

More than just typical me

My sexiness emanates because of you

With you on my side I have no competition

all pain, jealousy and insecurities cease to exists

When I stare in the mirror, it’s you I want to see:

Confidence and Purity.

 So the question for you is: Do you own your "BOS"?

"I own my BOS"-BosBrill (Bos retreat 2008)

Live & Love,

~Delesa J

http://www.boslifestyle.com/

More than just a Month

Hello to all my Sonny Essence Beauties, 

Now that the month of February has came and gone, and the remnants of love and Black History are slowly dwindling away now is as good as time as any to re-build that love back up. Let us rejoice and remember the pains and struggles of the past in order to know what to fight and live for in the present and future. So let us not only celebrate our heritage and the most sought after culture that exists, in only one month out of the given 12 but rather every day of our lives. In today's society, coming together as a whole and providing that support and love to each other is more vital than ever. Let's look to elders for positive role models and the strength to persevere over our struggles. Let's educate ourselves and teach others. Let's be that role model and show kids the right path to go down. Let's rebuild the strength, courage, determination and so many other positive attributes that Black People are known for. Be that #BOS (Brilliance of Success). 

Celebrate History everyday: Our President and First Lady

In honor of celebrating Black History:

I'm excited and proud to present a poem from my Poetry class written by an eloquent Black Women named Karen. Each time I read her poetry, I learn something new about life, myself, the world or it just makes me think. She and her work are filled with such wisdom. Her work inspires me to be better. 

This is her poem: 

Karen Ready

A Political Rap

February 4, 2010

Back In 1828

Back In 1828

Fearful folks who were filled with hate

Believed white supremacy to be

Synonymous with democracy

And the god of Christianity

Favored white humanity.

This god condemned all Africans

By the melanin present in their skin

To lives of slavery and servitude

And for this, expected gratitude

Because without him they were godless

And therefore, subject to transgress.

Sinful and “evil” because they were black

Whites needed to counteract

Their slaves “wicked ways and devilish deeds”

By ensuring that they aimed to please

Their masters and their masters’ god

Who condemned them in the land of Nod.[1]

Back in 1828

Noah Webster believed the hate

Should be reflected in his dictionary

So the color black would correlate

With the white man’s vocabulary.

By personifying the color to make

An entire group or culture,

Even lower than Eden’s snake

He made a devastating mistake.

Resulting in the black caricatures

Still alive in Faulkner’s literature.[2]

Based solely on their depth of color

Regardless of father, brother, or mother,

Or blood containing one black droplet,

They were reminded lest they forget

They still had dark skin, hair and eyes

And for this they were beaten, hanged, despised.

How in this world could a color be

“Thoroughly sinister, sullen, and angry”

“Atrociously wicked, soiled, and dirty?”

“Very sad, dismal, mournful and gloomy,”

Or have a “grim distorted, cloudy look?”

Could it be racism residing in Webster’s book?

Perhaps it’s oversensitive to think

That black has been personified.

It has nothing to with the missing link,

Negros should be satisfied,

They are no longer slaves,

Praying to god for the eternal grave

Where they’ll be forever purified.

But when the color white is defined

Words like ”innocent, favorable, fortunate,”

“Clean, faithful, pure and passionate,”

Are positively chosen and designed

To shed light upon white superiority.

Because whites are “Free from moral impurity,”

“Conservative in action and political outlook [3]”

Could racism be residing in Webster’s book?

Well, it is now 2010

And the White House has an African

Presiding over America’s land

But the white racists

Unable to take this

Have taken a rigid stand.

To jeopardize their own health care,

Say no to gays, sex and abortion,

While any quote by a terrorist,

Or escalating Iraqi’s mess,

Gets a resounding, heartfelt “Yes!”

From the peanut gallery of emotion.

But I digress.

What of Webster and his definitions

Of colors that describe human behavior?

Especially the negative black of the Negro,

While the defective white of the Albino

Receives not even an honorable mention?

All this hatred over the melanin gene

The human body’s natural sunscreen.

 How can a country come together when

Its people don’t know they’re all Africans?[4]

Webster’s dictionary needs revision

To help rid America’s language division.

A step forward is to eliminate race -

A social construct[5]  that has no place

In a world moving at tomorrow’s pace

Away from an archaic color tradition.

---

[1] During the 18th-20th centuries, this racist theory was used to justify slavery. It held that Noah’s son Ham saw his father drunk and naked so god punished Ham’s son Canaan with black slave descendents. Genesis 9:20-27

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curse_of_Ham

[2] Dilsey in  Faulkner’s The Sound and the Fury is the epitome of the Mammy stereotype: “Nurturing and protective, self sacrificing, long suffering, wise, often world weary but never bitter……depicted as behaving more kindly to the white children in her care than to her own….” and the question is WHY would she love white people at all? http://www.ferris.edu/jimcrow/links/mammy/

[3] Words in quotations are taken directly from the first and the latest editions of the Merriam-Webster Dictionary.

[4] “Millions of years ago human life started in Africa… Africa provides a comprehensive and contiguous time line of human development going back at least 7 million years.” From Africa The Home Of Human Civilization. http://www.panafricanperspective.com/origins/earlyafricans.html

[5]“ No society is composed of genetically “pure” people. It is now understood that humans are one species with great phylogenetic variability- we are in fact one race- human. From "Race is a social construct." http://www.gossamer-wings.com/soc/Notes/race/tsld002.htm

"Look at me. I am black. I am beautiful."-Mary McLeod Bethune (Educator)

Loved~Evolving~create

~Delesa J~

Black Women vs Other

In the words of the beloved MJ (may he rest in peace), “It doesn’t matter if your black or white” or does it? In today’s era so many Black women are angry that Black men are no longer dating them but straying towards other races and not just White women anymore. Their frustrated that they have their life together: a career they love, money in the bank, a banging body, and the Destiny’s Child “Independent Woman” syndrome. Yes, I said syndrome. So many women are focusing on being the best Independent Woman they can be that they don’t realize their to blame for their cold bed at night and watching that ideal man she wanted clutched tightly on the arm of another woman, but to make matters worse he’s with some beautiful “mark other” woman. So even though her mouth is singing “He should’ve put a ring on it” her heart is singing Alicia Keys’ “Unthinkable”.

 So who’s to blame for Black men leaving behind beautiful Black women: the Black men, the Black women or the color blind media? Maybe a little mixture of it all. However, in my opinion Black women have done a little more pushing than pulling. In our ancestor’s time, Black women were the backbone of the family. The glue that held it all together but somewhere down the years that glue slowly started disappearing and was replaced by a one sided piece of adhesive tape. Women today don’t have that old school mentality of holding it all together for their man no matter what. That old school glue held firm through all the ups and downs and difficulties, supporting their man through the rough times. She carried the family while he was out looking for work, or was laid off or fired or just finishing school and getting out on his own, or the man with the dream to own his own business and be his own BOS-yeah the startup years are rough and there’s little to no money coming in and they don’t know how their going to pay the next bill coming through their door but she always made a way.

That was then. Today, we have our one-sided sticky tape women, as soon as there’s an inkling of a rough time their edges slowly begin to peel up and before even trying their adhesive gives away and their gone. Leaving the Black man, lonely and with no support until he finds it in the arms of a new woman but the catch: she’s not Black. She’s a beautiful Latina or White woman or Asian woman or Puerto Rican etc, etc. Now she’s angry and the obscenities are rolling off her tongue at every Black man and interracial couple she comes across. What she didn’t realize was that she may have been to blame. She should’ve been cussing herself out.

Consequently, I’m not talking about all Black women there’s still a large number of Black women who do have that old school mentality and soul that are holding things down for Black men. Regardless if their in a relationship or not, support is everything whether it’s just in a friendship.

So what do we do about this epidemic of losing our Black men? Well, Ladies the next time you start to question or make comments about the next interracial couple, ask yourself this question: Are Black women pushing Black men into the arms of “other race” women? Or more personally: Am I pushing Black men to look for love outside of Black women?

Let’s stop being so judgmental to Black men but rather more supportive and not flee at the first sight of trouble or shaky ground. Like my girl Angie Stone, to all my Black brotha’s just know Delesa J got love for ya!

*Disclaimer: Yes, I know ladies some men just wont do right. I’m Not talking about them. Nor am I against interracial dating, I’m just tired of hearing Black women talk badly about it without pointing the finger at themselves first. That is all I will say about that for now.

I usually only leave you with one quote but I couldn't decide on which one so dwell on these two: 

"Unconditional love not only means I am with you, but also I am for  you, all the way, right or wrong"-Duke Ellington


"Love is or it ain't. Thin love ain't love at all"-Toni Morrison


*The Brothers pic is courtesy of:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Brothers_(film)


-Delesa J